November 05, 2016

Help.

winonsky.sunnypillow

I’m starting to feel like I’ve had enough.

How do I put this.

Today I woke up with like zero intention to actually go out or stuff. And I did. I was again “dropped” and not being able to do anything.

Maybe the right term isn’t not being able but not wanting to do anything at all.

Seriously. I spent the whole day just sleeping. Literally taking a break of everything. My skin didn’t touch the sunlight today and I’m kinda getting weirded out about it.

I left like five events that I should be attending and I was like “yeah whatever am not going anywhere today”.

Weird. So unlike me.

I even postpone my tasks and assignments. I just don’t feel like doing stuffs.

What is happening to me?

Help.

I guess this happens since I was exposed with tons of feelings for the past few weeks and I haven’t like truly gotten a break out of it. Haven’t truly sing or laugh or smile or whatever. My mind just keeps on thinking on stuffs and I got no time to actually enjoy stuffs along the way.

Which is bad.
Which is so not me.
Which is resulting into this a day breakdown.

Don’t ask me, sometimes I don’t even understand myself. Sometimes I get all pumped up wanting to learn this and that, multitasking, completing every shit that people gave to me.

And at times I’m like today: not wanting to do anything at all.

Geez I need videogames.
And chocolate.
And ice-cream.
And my mom.
And a hug.
And my blanket.
And Porter Robinson and Madeon’s live show in front of me.

Geez seriously I’m like madly in love with Shelter (Porter Robinson and Madeon’s product of a collaboration between them two). Can’t stop hearing it. It actually describes my feelings nowadays too though, my need of a shelter out of everything that I’m dealing with right now.

Maybe I’m just being childish right now.

I just need some love, that’s all.

Huft.


Help.

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