October 25, 2016

F^cked up


Hey, it's been awhile.
I've been gone for months on this blog without any stories or rants or thoughtful thinking or pure intentions on writing again to this blog. It's now mostly filled with RK stuffs. I kinda like it though so I don't have to think a lot harder on what to write on this blog but it makes me to keep more stories to myself since I usually spill everything out here.

Anyway, without further ado, here are my rants that I know you're missing for.

Yes, you can read the title, I'm a bit f^cked up this month. There's like committee issues and organisational stuffs and mid term exams and feelings and just pure self existentialism (yup, here we go again). We'll talk through those stuffs one by one in another post but let's talk about a recent situation that happened and triggered me to write this post through mobile. (second mobile attempt, yeay!)

Here's the thing, you don't agree on going out with someone, wait for them for more than an hour, and being told to just go home by that person.

Like what the f^ck dude.

You do not do that. Not to girls, not to friends, not to anyone, never.

You do not suddenly yell "Go home, Win, your night hour is up!"

Well excuse me for still waiting up for you when we were going to eat together discussung about end of committee sessions in this f^cking free time that I've spare for you. Ex-f^cking-cuse me.

Oh, and, excuse me to also just walk out storming through the common hall because I was mad and sad and trying not to show my f^cking ugly face to you two people when I'm holding up my tears not to fell.

I've had a rough day. Please, do not be my reason to breakdown.

I've had enough of outbreaks of tears. I hate to suddenly cry in the middle of nowhere and not being able to explain why because everything is actually fine when in my head it's not. It's not fine at all

But it is too late though for you to apologise or trying to make up for it to me since I've already bursting out my tears crying at one of the corridors while covering up my face so I don't look stupid.

Yes, I can cry. Did you forget that I also has feelings too?

Did you forget I also has other things to do BESIDES waiting for you being done through all of your chit-chats?

How long should I kept waiting for you? Don't you think I want to go back to my dorm so I can lay off because of how weird this day is?

I never show my weak sides to anyone, including you two, but why do you always test me to show it to both of you when I clearly don't want to?

Why do you guys kept test how far does my limits go?

Yes, I laugh a lot. It's very f^cking easy to made up with me because I clearly talk shit about stuffs and then move forward because I don't like to keep negative energy on my head. I'm not the type of person who'll actually keeps grudge on the dark side of my heart and eventually repays you with even worse of actions. I tried my best not to be that kind of person because I'd be a very dark person and I know how it was.

Trust me, you don't want to see that part of me. It's ugly.

I'm trying my best to keep up with you boys, really.

So please, please, please, please, please

Do not f^ck me up again.

Tuesday, 25th October 2016
Stressed the f^ck out

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