September 01, 2016

Hurting

winonsky.sunnypillow

I don't know.

I don't know if I'm hurting you or even him or some other person I don't know.

I never meant that.

I really don't.

I'm sorry.

I never meant that.

I really don't.

I'll do better.

It's not you, it's me, really.

It really is me.

I was blaming myself, really, and I was never even kept some weird feelings for every each one of you.

I never did, and never will.

Because I know that it's me who is wrong.

Not you, not him, not her, not anyone else.

It's me.

And I've been hurt like this for quite a long time.

And tonight I decided to share the hurt.

And you responded as I thought how you will respond.

I'm not judging, but I'm thankful for that thing.

This means I know you well enough as you know me.

If someone actually said "I'm an open book with secret pages",

Well guess what?

I'm an open book

With opened secret pages.

Because I'm tired of keeping it by myself.

So I'm trying to share.

And I know you won't like it.

And it's okay.

But I do know I'll change.

Please, give me another chance.

Please, I'll make up for these things.

Please, let me prove myself.

I was caught in the moment.

And so was you.

And so was him.

And so was her.

And so was the others.

I never said I didn't want to share.

I never said I didn't want to change.

I never said I didn't want to be better.

I want those things.

And am still little.

By being honest with you.

And him.

And her.

So you would know how messy I am before I became organized.

So you would know how temperament I am before I became silent.

So you would know how hard I try to keep up with you guys.

And again,

I'm sorry.

But I'm trying.

So please help me.

Please.

Please.

Please.

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