July 31, 2016

RKDiaries - Twenty Two (22)

winonsky.sunnypillow

This post will be mixed between English and Bahasa Indonesia. Viewer discretion is advised. Girly stuffs coming up. Potential ghibah might be coming up. Istighfar is recommended after reading this blog post.

*suddenly making alerts because now everything that's happening in my life is being watched* *no pun intended* *is mentally not feeling well* *halp*


HALO SEMUA. SALAM 'ALAYKUM.

Huehehe maaf ya kalo agak ngebingungin kebanyakan pertanda. Biasa namanya juga manusia jadi sering ngasih tanda-tanda(?)

Anyway, I'll be talking about this one particular thing tonight which is actually will be the whole rotation of every action I'll be doing since August 1st, 2016.

This particular thing is called: Rumah Kepemimpinan.

Apa itu Rumah Kepemimpinan?

Rumah Kepemimpinan atau yang bakal saya singkat sebagai RK adalah sebuah program beasiswa yang sifatnya plusplus banget. Ada pembinaan kepemimpinan and stuff. They'll be watching and guiding me towards a better person and eventually making me a true leader for the better world. I'm not gonna tell you everything on this thing because I'm afraid I'll say weird things and going too deep on those stuffs so yeah you could actually google us(?)

Sorry for being too lazy and insecure. At least I gave you some bits of it lol.

RK's scholarship provides some stuffs that I exactly need for a better me in the future. There's the dormitory, the leadership trainings, the connection, the money, the wifi, the environment, the spirit on learning and memorizing Al-Quran, and other stuffs lol.

Here, we're dedicating (or you could say donating as well) ourselves to be trained day and night everyday to be something big for Indonesia, moslems, and also the world. We're basically going to be strategic people that will be spread amongst the Earth and making the world a better place.

Sounds too dreamy, huh?

Don't worry, I'm also thinking the same way. But I have a strong faith on this thing so let's just hope I'll be such a strategic person just like all of my friends and alumni, aamiinn.

Anyway, that's actually not the point of my blog post.

The point of my blog post is actually how my feelings towards this scholarship thingy.

Do not get me wrong but I'm just stating what's going on in my mind so yeah feel free to read and judge but I don't care anyway.

Ketika menandatangani surat perjanjian kontrak RK, saya masih ragu-ragu. Bimbang. Apalah itu namanya.

Yang membuat saya ragu hanyalah satu: apa saya pantas?

Pantas untuk diberikan uang sebesar 500ribu setiap bulannya plus segala fasilitas asrama yang ada agar dilatih dan dididik menjadi manusia-manusia bermanfaat kedepannya?

Memangnya RK yakin saya akan mendedikasikan diri saya untuk membuat dunia ini lebih baik?

Memangnya saya seiya sekata apa sama RK ini?

Banyak banget pertanyaan sejenis seperti itu yang datang seliweran dari kepala saya. Pusing. Bikin males ngapa-ngapain sama yang berhubungan sama RK. Saya kan udah sibuk ini pake tandatangan suatu hal yang udah jelas bakal bikin diri saya sibuk lagi, emangnya saya mau susah-susah nambahin beban dalam hidup saya?

Jawabannya pun saya temukan sendiri dalam hati kecil saya yang sebenarnya masih takut akan segala hal yang akan terjadi kedepannya: Iya, saya pantas.

Saya pantas untuk diberikan pelajaran lebih demi kebaikan diri serta lingkungan saya.

Saya harus yakin se-yakin RK sama diri saya bahwa saya bisa membuat dunia lebih baik dengan menerima beasiswa ini.

Saya harus mulai menerapkan nilai-nilai penting RK dalam hidup saya agar kita bisa seiya sekata.

Saya harus mau nambahin beban dalam hidup saya.

Harus.
Harus.
Harus.
Harus.
Harus.

Saya harus bisa menjadi manusia strategis seperti apapun yang RK dan ummat ini inginkan.

It's gonna be tough and strict as hell. I'll be getting less sleep, less privacy time, less 'me' time, less food, and other stuffs. In order to fulfill this leadership training program, academic stuffs, organisational and committee urgencies, and my beloved dear social life, I need to sacrifice less of my sleeping time for more things in life.

No more games.
No more playing around.
No more not-knowing-what-to-do.
I am no longer free.

Saya akan diperangkap dengan berbagai tugas serta jadwal yang super padat serta berbagai macam tuntutan yang akan saya hadapi selama 22 bulan kedepan.

Terdengar berat dan depresif, huh?

Ya sejujurnya memang begitu sih. Saya masih minder gitu loh. Wajar kali ya minder cuman kan saya suka kebayang-bayang sampe ke bawa mimpi atas segala macam tanggung jawab serta beban yang akan saya hadapi kedepannya.

Mau menghibur diri dengan kata-kata semangat pun sekarang kayakna udah gak terlalu ngefek soalnya saya kadang suka gak percaya sama kata-kata tersebut. Aneh ya wk maap deh.

Iyasi kan "no pain no gain" atau "semua akan indah pada waktunya" atau "luruskan niat" atau "believe in yourself" but sometimes there are certain moments where you just can't lift up your spirits no matter how hard you try.

To be really honest I was gonna write about stuffs that I do on Ramadhan and how does JakartaMUN went for me but then I decide to talk about RK because I know it's more urgent then those other stuffs that I have in mind.

Urgh, I hate it.

Rasanya tuh jadi terkekang aneh gitu taugak. I felt like joining a cult. Ada idealisme plus lagu-lagu and stuffs gitu. Ada adab. Ada perizinan. Huft sungguh amat sangat melelahkan hidup ini :"

Tapi itu lebay si wkwk maklum lagi emosional nih soalnya udah menetap di asrama banget mulai malam ini.

Yatapi gitude.. You guys got the point right?

Anyway, don't just think saya menjelek-jelekkan RK. Justru dari awal saya ragu kalau saya bakalan ngejelek-jelekkin RK. RKnya bagus banget kok ini mah diri saya sendir aja yang kurang stabil gatau cara ambil sikap yang baik dan benar.

I'll give all my best for RK kok so don't worry dear everyone who is reading this and feeling concerned.

Saya orang yang bertanggung jawab.

I will finish what I started and I will excel on each of every bits of it.

22 bulan dibina tak akan terasa lama. Saya malah mungkin akan kangen dengan 22 bulan itu ketika sudah melewatinya.

22. Cuman 22 kok.

Bismillah, Astaghfirullah. Innalillah. Subhanallah.

Asrama Putri Rumah Kepemimpinan
Sunday, 31st July 2016
11.11 PM

July 11, 2016

First Mobile Attempt!

winonsky.sunnypillow

Assalamu'alaykum!

Yeayy I'm writing on my blog again (even though I know it's gonna be short since this one's on mobile and idk how much longer my eyes could hold on this slumber).

Anyway,

I'm still on my homecoming trip (mudik) and right now me and my family are in Bandung. We'll be spending our last night here and we're planning to went back to Bekasi tomorrow night as soon as we finish our business (which is having fun) in Bandung here for another day hehe.

I have pictures of this trip so don't worry my friend I will update as soon as poss I get to my laptop.

Anyway,

I've just finished filling up a data sheet for my Rumah Kepemimpinan stuffs. Haven't tell you about that thing on this blog so I'll tell you on my next post. Um, we, there's this slot on the sheet which contains personal blog link and I just filled out this one out of shame or things and then send it to the executive board.

After that, I kinda just read all my blog's postings in deep thoughts and sincere minds. I kinda regret giving out this personal blog though but I know they need it to supervise my upgrades.

So to the executive boards which might probably reading this post right now, I will tell you some things that you might be disappointed when stalking this blog of mine:

1. I swear. A lot. And it's bad and it's impolite but it's my blog so who are you to judge?!?! Lol no I know that affects my credibility so yeah will fix on those words from now on.

2. I have deep anxiety issues that I only talk with my best friends and this blog. Feel free to read but let's not discuss it when we meet.

3. I make love stories and other stuffs. I ramble a lot. You might find some of these posts being too excessive but that's just how the way things are so yeah welcome aboard on this weird person's personality!

4. I actually tell more of my hateful stuffs then my lovely ones. I'm changing that one though. InsyaAllah you'll see no more hate stuffs here again! I made a promise to myself to fill this blog with happiness because my life is so much more about happiness then sadness or madness or hate itself.

5. I might tell who I liked here.............but that's the past so there's nothing more to it. Want to keep it professional.  Besides I'm not into those dating stuffs so these are just feelings that will not develop to dates, okay?! I want marriage and I stated that here loud and clear.

6. Yeah so this blog's actually contains more stuff about me that you might be surprised to find out. That is okay. This is who I am and I want the world to accept that. I want to grow, upgrade, level up myself to be bet. To not become some kind of curhat blogs again but to actually become some kinda real idea blogs like what I wanted in the first place.

So..........that's it?
Happy reading, dear executive boards!
Hope you'll treat me well after you read them :D

McDonald's Bandung
Monday, 11th of July 2016
01.53 AM