April 29, 2016

Fawwaz

winonsky.sunnypillow


It means successful in Arabic.

Pretty cool, huh?


Fawwaz.

Alfiano Fawwaz Lokopessy.


This is my second time mentioning his full name on my blog.

I don't care about my feelings or either his. No. This isn't going to be that kind of post. Besides, I've promised myself not to make any kinds of those posts anymore.


On 27th and 28th of April, 2016, there's been this event called World Tobacco Processing and Machinery, which is famous with it's acronym called WTPM.

What's it all about? Go google WT Processing and Machinery then you may have your answers.

Or, if you're Indonesian, go ahead visit http://bit.ly/janjipalsu or http://tinyurl.com/rilisWTPM or http://bit.ly/kajianWTPM.

I'd like to tell you more about it but I'm afraid  I'll say things that I'm not supposed to say (and lazy to write it down) so I recommend you guys to seek the answers through the holy guidance of the internet. Or search it on the news, it's all over Indonesia's news anyway.


Moving on..

As UI's Public Health Students', we are aware of the consequences that we carry: promoting a healthy lifestyle throughout the whole world. One of our acts is through this thing called Aksi or Action.

Long story short, some of my friends joined Aksi WTPM on 27th and 28th of April 2016. On the first day it was like a normal Aksi day. Shouting on the hot day in front of JIExpo while standing on Indonesia's right of having an environment without smoke from the damned cigarettes. Some of my friends also managed to sneak into the exhibition to put on a banner stating "KICK WTPM". There's also a bit of boisterous act between the mass of Aksi and the police force after the mass were done praying, It's kind of an unpleasant view to watch but it had to be done. We're idealists alright, but we know what we're saying is right and we are using our voice to defend it.

On the second day things do not go so well.

There's no mass action on the first day. There's a soft action but I don't know how that goes and there's also a sneak action. Sneaking in, giving pamphlets to people, giving one hell of speech on our rights to a cigarette-free-smoke air, rebelling those scums that only cared about money in the first place.

Fawwaz gave a speech that day.

He shouted out all his heart, making such a scene on the exhibition so that people would look at him and listen to what he's saying.

If you look at the video, you might think that he's nuts shouting for no reason and such.

Well, we are all nuts here. What differs us from him is he's nuts for Indonesia's current health condition.

Yes, he shouts in a very impolite way.
Yes, he points out his fingers to people whom he just laid his eyes on.
Yes, he unleashes his wrath of hatred to the Cigarette Industry.

But he's there, fighting, along with my friends and seniors, voicing this country's unheard voice.

The police pounce him and dragged him out of the exhibition. Later on he was knocked down by the police on the face, making his nose bleed.

It's such a view. The ones that you don't want to watch because the ones that you cared the most got hurt because defending the Earth's rights. And the worse thing is blood are shed for the price of our rightful voice.

He and the rest of my friends were later captured by the police. Everyone was panicking and crying and sending out prayers, hoping that they will be fine in the end.

Including, me.
I was frazzled when I looked at the video.
I don't know how to react.
It was him. My friend. Strangled by the police. In the worse way you could ever think of.
And I just looked at it with the most unwanted feeling I want to feel on that day.


I was on a crisis of existentialism. I was devastated on knowing that I've actually been a burden to a lot of my friends. I made them ashamed in any kinds of bad way and I don't like the feeling that is born from those situations.

I cried for being unheard for so many things. I cried for being clumsy in fast-response situations. I cried for being too blunt on people and made them looked at me in a negative way.

I cried and I hoped to die instantly that day.

I felt like I don't have anymore will to live and it sucks because you can't actually go and tell people about these kinds of stories.

People would just say "Remember God's Existence" while they don't know the reason that I suffer because I was questioning why do I exist in the first place.

I do not question God, no. I believe in every path that He chose for me is the right one. I just question why does I have to went on that path.


Anyway.

Hearing that kind of news about him, I felt like I was struck by lightning.

Dead, like what I wished on that day.


Tears was flowing. Not so much though, but it flows right out of my eyes. I panicked, but I don't know what to do. I blame myself for not going that day. I blame myself for not being with him. I was flustered down the alley of despair.


All that I want to know is just that he is okay.
That he is alive and breathing just fine.
That he could still smile in his own wacky ways.

I envy those who was with him, who knows how he's doing and takes care of him.

For the first time in my life, I can't be there to help him. And I don't know how to help either.

So I just sit there in silent, waiting for more news of him, stating that he is well.


I really do not like that feeling of not being able to do anything when your dearest friend is in need,


Thankfully he's fine and there are no severe damages on his head. I'm just thankful that he is okay.


Taman Bougenville FKM UI
29th of April, 2016
20.38

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