I had a rough day yesterday.
If you want to know about it you can read it on my previous post. It’s the main issue of my bad day yesterday.
Anyway, today I wanted to start fresh. I want to let those things go and realize that I’ve got more important things I should be doing right now through my organization’s activities. Hence, I was about to make a ToR for my company visit to Deloitte. That’s the main goal I need to finish before this day ends.
Started the day with playing games and read some of my friends’ blog. Knowing that each of them also writes what they feel and post it to the internet made me feel that we are just normal human beings. Normal human beings who just want to socialize, share, and reenact all the things that happen in our lives to the others.
And then, like you might guess, here I am writing for my blog for the last post that I delayed for a week long. Didn’t really know if it was because of my schedule or because I didn’t have any time to just sit in front of my laptop and type all the things that is going on in my head on that time.
Then, my Mom called.
I was having a minor fight with her the other day too and to be really honest, she’s always on the right side. I didn’t mean to exaggerate it, but it’s true. She is worried for my conditions and she always looks out for me even when we’re 18 KM apart. She’s my Mom and I love her. But sometimes I just can’t understand what are her motives on doing things and why does she’s being so strict on Islamic things and how does she transforms from the super–cool–mom to the super–religious–mom in a short notice and when would she takes some of my advice on health issues and where does she hide her pure heart under her edgy character and who wouldn’t want to have a mom like her.
She’s a mom. She’s my mom. She’s awesome.
Anyway, I picked her call while hoping that she won’t blast off my ears with coming–home–late problems again. It’s not that I don’t want to go home early or that I love the night life it’s just that as a student, most of our activities are done at night because we were looking for the time where everyone can make it and night time are like free time (and break time) for every student.
Turns out she didn’t call me for that (which made me relieved and sincere). She called me because she just found out that our catering lady died last night.
Which leads us to a more serious conversations like how death might come in anytime, things I should do if my parents died, the responsibility of me as the eldest girl to my two other sisters, how I need to get closer to Allah, how I shake my hand to my non-mahrams and she’s furious about it, how she reminds me that life is short, and how she tells me that she loves me a lot.
Which made my eyes watery. Thanks, Mom. I love you too.
And this conversation then reminds me of some of my goals for a better life.
To be a better person.
To read Quran more.
To learn about sholat and understand the importance of it.
To be a true muslimah (with syar’i clothes on).
To prepare myself for the afterlife.
Once again, thanks Mom for calling me in such a perfect time.
Death is very near to us and yet sometimes we forgot its existence in our life.
Death, the ones that I fear the most, is real and it’s coming. And I need to be prepared when it comes because there is no turning back.
Death is a very sensitive subject since we are told to be futuristic and optimist for the future, unlike death which is absolute and unpredictable.
Death is scary because of its uncertainties but also beautiful because it is certain.
And that is why death will always be the best and worse topic on my life.
Asrama Universitas Indonesia
Saturday, 6th of February 2016